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To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.
I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.
And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?
So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.
Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-
6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.
6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.
A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?
They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.
Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.
If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.
But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.
And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?
That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.
You. The rapist’s comrade.
And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…
Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.
123,760 notes (via kenconda & keylimepie)
using the correct pronouns is just as important when that person isn’t around to hear you use them
pronouns and NAMES.
be respectful of them both.
LETS TALK ABOUT NOT OUTING PEOPLE ON ACCIDENT
LETS TALK ABOUT FINDING OUT WHO IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO USE A PERSONS CORRECT NAME AND PRONOUNS AROUND
LETS TALK ABOUT FINDING OUT WHEN IT IS NOT OKAY TO USE A PERSONS CORRECT NAME AND PRONOUNS
LETS TALK ABOUT WAYS TO NOT MISGENDER OR INCORRECTLY NAME A PERSON, WHILE MAINTAINING THEIR SAFETY
- say a persons name/nickname that you know is okay to use instead of saying their pronouns and/or their correct name
- terms of endearment like friend, comrade, pal, chum, buddy, cohort, bosom friend, bff, bestie, coworker, cutie, babe, cool cat, or some other genderless nameless endearment term (or non endearment) are also great options to use instead of names or pronouns! always ask the person in question if they are okay with them!
NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT A TRANS PERSON AT ALL IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM IF YOU THINK THERE IS THE SLIGHTEST OF CHANCES THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO COULD POSSIBLY POSE A RISK TOWARDS THE TRANS PERSON YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING DISCUSSING.
28,272 notes (via etta-candy-irl & veganweedsoup)
aside from being cissexist the whole XX = female and XY = male thing is Straight-Up Wrong
AFAB people can have XO, XXX, XXXX and XY chromosomes while AMAB people have have XXYY, XYY, and XX chromosomes and since the majority of the population never has their karyotype examined, they’ll never know that they have one of these chromosomal quirks unless that specific combination has associated symptoms, and not all of them do. you could literally have one of the aforementioned combinations without even knowing it and meanwhile you’re insisting that all AFAB people are XX and that anyone else who has this must also be female
we could also talk about how hormonal patterns for XX persons can naturally and biologically mirror that of a typical XY person, or vis versa, which gives rise to things like androgen insensitivity disorder. here u have it, folks, an whole group of intersex people who have XY chromosomes and testicles and vulva and vagina, all grown naturally, all at the same time.
the number of people who are intersex mirror the number of people who are born with red hair, but no one goes around trying to say that red isn’t a natural hair colour just because the phenotype doesn’t manifest in the majority of the population.
14,459 notes (via etta-candy-irl & exeggcute)
I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?
WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA
Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..
I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC
You, girl, are a genius.
40,666 notes (via etta-candy-irl & warriorchicken)
Guys, if any of you have any triggers you want me to tag please tell me.
- I don’t care if it’s embarrassing
- That’s why anon exists
- I will literally tag whatever triggers you have
- Especially if it’s a phobia
28,261 notes (via exolutely-not-sehun & asymptomatics)
i hate when i wear a skirt or dress somewhere and people ask me why i’m dressed so fancy like i don’t need an occasion to free my legs from the constraints of pants thank you very much
133,599 notes (via etta-candy-irl & grantaired)
why do porn websites have a +1 button i don’t want everyone to know i actually use google plus
49,437 notes (via etta-candy-irl & foxnewsofficial)
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